Tag: Estate Planning

Having Difficult Conversations About Estate Planning

A How-To Guide for talking to the people you love about what happens when you die:

Most of us have been taught that politics, religion, and money are topics to avoid with family and friends. They are charged with emotion, highlight our differences, and lead to some uncomfortable interactions. Another topic people tend to avoid talking about—especially with our families—is what happens when we die. You know it’s important, but you steer clear of it anyway.

We want to help you to be better prepared to approach these awkward, but necessary, conversations about end-of-life preparations. Whatever your family dynamics look like, there are tips and tools you can use to have more empathetic conversations with your children, siblings, parents, and other loved ones.

Talking With Your Kids

Losing a parent is hard on a child, regardless of the child’s age. But how you prepare your children for when you are gone will change over time as they grow older. School-age kids should be comforted knowing they’ll be taken care of by someone who loves them. As they become older teenagers and adults, it’s time to have more candid conversations about your estate plan, especially if you’ve selected one or more of them to be your:

They don’t have to be privy to every element of your plan, but it can be helpful to keep them in the loop on the location of your estate planning documents and how to access other accounts as needed.

If you’ve selected one of your children over another to be part of managing your estate, you might want to discuss your rationale—one child lives closer, is more organized, or is older—so there are no hard feelings among siblings. If your children will be responsible for your last wishes, outline the details in your estate plan and also discuss what you want to happen to your body (cremation, burial, donating your body to science), as well as specific instructions for your funeral or other type of celebration or ceremony. This also is an opportune time to discuss end-of-life health care decisions. A 2021 study found that although 90% of people think having conversations about their end-of-life healthcare decisions is essential, just over a quarter (27%) have done so. If you have an advance directive or living Will, your wishes should be spelled out, but discussing them out loud ensures there are no surprises.

Talking With Your Parents or Older Relatives

Once you’re an adult, it’s time to discuss with your parents what kind of plan they have in place. If you know they’ve neglected estate planning, you and your siblings or other relatives are going to be the ones trying to clean up the chaos when they die.

At some point, you also may be the person left to care for older aunts, uncles, in-laws, or grandparents. If these individuals have not designated anyone else to manage their affairs, discuss making your role more official, such as naming you as the agent in their powers of attorney, so you’ll be able to take care of financial and healthcare decisions for them.

If you have a good relationship with your siblings, try to get aligned before having a conversation with your parents so everyone is on the same page. And if you can’t seem to make any headway simply talking about the topic, try sharing informational articles, walking them through a digital estate planning site, or scheduling an appointment to meet with an estate planning attorney. You can’t force them to create an estate plan, but you can help to demystify and simplify the process for them.

Having The Talk

You don’t want to ruin a family celebration by talking about death, but if the holidays or birthdays are the only time you get together as a family, set aside a separate chunk of time to have an estate planning discussion. Be prepared for some emotion and be open to questions and differing perspectives. It’s important to be honest but not overwhelming. These are important decisions that need to happen, but they don’t all have to be finalized in one conversation. Focus on the fact that estate planning provides peace of mind for everyone—both the person dying and their loved ones left behind.

Having a loose agenda or checklist of topics can help ensure you cover all the essentials. Be sure to include Wills or Trusts, financial power of attorney, and healthcare power of attorney.

What Happens to Your Social Profiles When You Die?

Tips on dealing with your digital afterlife in your estate plan

No matter how many fans, followers, or friends we have in this life, at some point we’re all going to die. Here are some of the most common questions people have about what happens to their social media presence after they’re gone.

Q: What happens to my social media accounts when I die?

A: The short answer: Nothing. Not automatically, anyway. Unless you take steps to outline your wishes—or adjust some simple settings on Facebook—your accounts will remain visible and “active.”

Q: How will my loved ones get access to my social media accounts?

A: As with your financial accounts, you’ll want a secure way to provide usernames, passwords, and any multi-factor authentication information to the person you designate. Remember, your Will is not the best place to reveal this information because it can become part of the public record.

There are many options for securely storing your social media access information, but we hope you’ll consider using our bank-level encrypted Vault where you can feel confident filing any important documents you want secure cloud-access to.

Q: How do I designate someone to manage my accounts?

A: Each social media platform has its own policy concerning the accounts of people who have died. They are all likely to evolve over time as this issue becomes more and more relevant. In less than 50 years, Facebook will have more dead members than living ones, so it’s not a problem that can be ignored.

In Facebook’s General Account Settings, under Memorialization settings, you can request to have your Facebook profile permanently deleted after you die or identify a Legacy Contact to look after your account. That person can accept new friend requests, manage tribute posts, delete posts, change the profile picture, and remove you from tags, but they cannot see your messages or add or remove friends.

Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn accounts don’t yet have the same “legacy” option. However, those accounts can be deleted by a direct family member or person you’ve designated as your power of attorney by providing proof of your death.

Q: How do I decide if I want someone to delete or deactivate my social media accounts?

A: Figuring out the future of your Facebook page may seem like a slightly silly discussion topic amid all the other important end-of-life decisions you need to talk about with your family. But as with many things concerning your estate, they are the ones who have to live with the decision. Talk with them to see how they feel. A couple things to think about: Some family members might think of your social posts and photos as akin to a diary and would never consider deleting something so priceless. On the flip side, those helpful birthday reminders and “you have memories” notifications that social sites send could be painful, especially while your loved ones are still grieving. Keeping a social media page but having the legacy contact turn off notifications can be a good compromise.

The Most Common Estate Planning Mistakes and How To Avoid Them

With many things in life, when you make a mistake, you fix it, learn from it, and move on. With estate planning, though, your mistakes may not manifest until after you’re gone. No learning, no fixing, no moving on. These mistakes can have lasting effects for your loved ones—from simple to serious—so let’s take a look at how you can avoid the six most common estate planning errors.

1. Not making a plan.

Let’s get the biggest estate planning mistake out of the way first. You need some sort of estate plan in place to ensure your loved ones are taken care of after you die. You can make all the excuses you want—I’m not old enough, or rich enough, or smart enough to make a plan—but we’re here to help make it a simple and smooth process.

2. Not talking about your plan.

Discussing your estate plan with your loved ones and your executor or trustee guarantees that they are clear about your wishes and won’t be confused or surprised regarding anything in your documents. It also provides an opportunity for candid conversations about what your beneficiaries really want. For example, you might think that leaving your house to your daughter is a great gift, but she might be planning to move out of state. Talk through issues like these, because your estate plan is meant to prepare, not burden, your loved ones. While you’re having these discussions, be sure to note where your original, signed estate planning documents are located (in a safe deposit box or file cabinet, or with a lawyer), and if you’re storing any electronic copies on your computer or online (like in the Wealth Vault) and how to access them.

3. Not thinking more broadly about your legacy.

It might seem easiest when you’re creating your estate plan to leave everything to one beneficiary. Don’t forget: your estate plan is your last opportunity to leave something meaningful to your favorite charity or someone who would find the most meaning in a prized possession of yours. Your estate encompasses all your possessions. Perhaps you would like to leave old photographs with your niece, who keeps the family genealogy, or you would like to leave a last cash gift to the animal shelter where you have volunteered for years.

4. Not leaving a full inventory of your assets.

When it comes time to distribute your assets, your executor or trustee will need to gather (marshall) all your assets. Without an up-to-date record of everything you own, some assets can get lost. Retirement accounts, storage units, safe deposit boxes, and cryptocurrency are all commonly forgotten or lost during administration. If these assets are left unclaimed, they may never make it to your chosen beneficiaries. For example, it’s estimated that over 20% of all 401K funds are lost or forgotten.

5. Neglecting your online assets.

Maybe your grandparents didn’t have to worry about digital assets, but nearly everyone today has some sort of online account that will need to be managed after their death. You should think about whether you want your loved ones to take down (or continue to manage) your social media accounts, preserve important files you stored in the cloud, access software for smart systems that run your house, and download your digital photos. Consider leaving the usernames and passwords for your smartphone and most important online accounts with your estate planning documents.

6. Forgetting that your estate plan isn’t just for after you die.

Several important estate planning documents help you manage affairs while you’re still alive. Establishing a financial power of attorney and a health care power of attorney will appoint someone to help with legal, financial, and medical decisions when you’re unable to make them for yourself. For some people, setting up a trust allows a trustee to step into your shoes more easily if you need help managing your affairs during your life.

Whether you’re creating your estate plan from scratch or updating an existing plan, being aware of these common mistakes can help you avoid them.

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